things my grandma asked for in the hospital

1. comb
2. lipstick
3. hearing aid batteries

all signs correlate with sorcery.

a rich man was killed in an alleyway.
a trophy wife's body was found along the river bank.
my son has been missing for 3 weeks.
i think my wife is cheating on me.
my husband won't tell me what he does for a living.
i think the neighbors are mixed in with the occult.
my blue ribbon hog was stolen at the county fair last week.
i hold the lone copy of encyclopedia britannica with mention of the imaginary state Uqbar.
i got a postcard in the mail stating i have 1 week to live.
people have been phoning in death threats on our school mascot.
the president's daughter has been kidnapped