you could call it a concussion.

her sleep be not his sleep nor solace. levels of comfort, circles of comfort, warmness of bodies on bodies.

"i love the way you make me feel." utterly selfish. we hope for love as we hope for security and comfort. most thoughts of hope point toward an eventual stagnance - perfection in ecstasy or paradise would eventually grow tiresome, so why aim so high? or for anything at all?

the apathy and indifference will choke hopeful notions. this much is fact.

more facts: after reasoning comes apathy and indifference. after reasoning: no hope. stagnant life. "if you think like that, you are already dead" might be a response. and where are you going exactly that you should hope so? after reasoning, hopelessness and depletion. blessed be the sentience. "a nation of lemmings" (Gammon, Chris, 1).

...

so i'm feeling the crunch all of a sudden. a few months of school left, then i'm suddenly supposed to carve out some magical existence and not look back. i'm too much of a pussy to choose one over the other. i mean, i've got some ideas, but they are doomed for failure / too dependent on other people / too dependent on myself to be some glorious ring leader dragging everyone along/down with me.

if all these fucking 20-somethings (whelps) would wake up and say 'i don't want to support a war machine with these hopeless ambitions i've adopted from other people' then i wouldn't need to make a choice or be stressing about post-collegiate career moves. i loathe careers, partially do i loathe myself for not wanting to subscribe to the dead-end method of american dream realization (SEE ALSO: hopelessness).

fuck my angst. and fuck me for being such a failure child. i wonder why i have guilt? (EXPECTATIONS)

Ideals and moral absolutes are representative of one sentient being only. were i half as educated, i'd be starving and scheming for pussy. instead i'm fat and scheming for pussy.

and i've known love and i've known myself better and now i don't love, just scheme delirium and be awful and introverted.

two types of people: success and depressed.

whee.


Cited sources.
gammon, chris. misogany, ego, and self. an answer. 200x, destructocrats. milwaukee. (not msl, fuck format)