paper noose

making a resume is really depressing. i'm looking at sample resumes and wondering what mine should say.

OBJECTIVE: Reserve the right to never choose a career, leading a life of indifference that require extensive substance abuse and minimal effort.

EDUCATION: Little, if at all....uw-milwaukee...suppoesd to grad. may 200x

WORK EXPERIENCE:

+mundane tasks that depress (1982-present) job duties: establish a level of monotony and maintain it, falling in-line and becoming an ineffective decision maker outside the confines of my job.

+shoveling manure.

+building a sustainable ego. (1982-present).

REFERENCES available upon request.